I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
