pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
