# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
