He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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