You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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