now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
