I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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