The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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