It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
