she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
