I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
