A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
