it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
