i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
