Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
