she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize