Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
