You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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