I puked a lego.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your penis caused this!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
