apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
