Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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