omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Say something about gay babies.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
