just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
