Whod you bang
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
