let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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