Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
