I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
