Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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