Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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