I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
