She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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