In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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