Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
