Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
