dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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