Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
