I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
