did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
