how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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