You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
