Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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