Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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