Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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