this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
