Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

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(785): View more from Kansas

They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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(989): View more from Michigan

Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class

(612): View more from Minnesota

WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?

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