just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
