also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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