You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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