You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
