nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize