Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
