I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
