Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
