Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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