I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
