Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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