did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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