I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
