i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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