everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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