Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
...so i touched it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
