She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
