I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
